Thursday, March 17, 2016

To Heaven and Back

   For 3 years now we have been vendors of vintage and re-purposed items, part of the reason I have been such a bad blogger lately! Sometimes a show is slow...or gets slow and vendors begin to chat with one another. We find commonalities, humor, venting sessions and God stories.

  I love you to the moon and back.
    A saying that was painted on a piece of child's furniture, when a woman looked at it and came over to us and said-
" I love you to the moon and back, I said that to my grandchild. You just can't believe how much love you have for a grandchild."
 Maybe she thought we were too young for grandchildren. I suppose if in the right light, and the right head tilt, and an appropriate angle to hide my 3 chins, one may not know my next birthday will be 50!!
She went on to tell us a story, how when her grandchild was born she thought she loved him as high as the mountains, but that wasn't high enough. She loved him as deep as the ocean, but that wasn't deep enough.
  She loved him as high as the sky and back.....but that wasn't enough.
 then she said,

He passed away at 8 years old,
         and she thought I love you all the way to heaven and back.
She told us how her daughter had a sibling to that grandchild, and that he died at 2.
By this time my eyes were welling with tears, you see, she didn't know we lost our first and so far only grand baby just 6 months ago.

 She said that they found they had a rare disease when little Caleb passed away.
She didn't know our grand baby was named Caleb.
She didn't know he had a rare disease.
But God knew she and I would be there, together, speaking to one another about how deep the love of a grand child was. Even when you only got to hold him one time after he left this earth and was already in the arms of Jesus.

We talked, and cried, shared our stories, our heartbreak and a couple hugs.

As time goes on the ebb and flow of grief becomes part of who you are, it resides in you. It is always there.
 After Caleb's funeral my daughter and I walked up and down the block, it was September and the air was cool, the sun was warm and the leaves were colorful and crisp. Fall is our favorite time of year. Fall seems more homey, blankets and cocoa, fireplaces and soup, snuggles and sleep. The Fall sun shines differently, it envelops you, saying stay here...where it is warm, winter is approaching.

Fall is that time when Summer goes to sleep, and the deep chill of winter looms ahead.

Grief is like that, memories of Summer and fear of winter.

 My daughter drew this photo of  King Theoden from The Lord of the Rings. He was grieving the death of his child
in the movie he says, "No parent should have to bury their child."
She left the drawing unfinished
               because grief is unfinished.

For some reason the last month has been more difficult for me, I guess that is to be expected, better times and worse times. In the worse times, God sent a grandma that knew exactly what it felt like to loose a grandchild and to have a child of your own grieving so deeply. Someone to help express what cannot be expressed fully.

  God gives us Fall, warm, golden, and comforting, God gives us winter- slow and dark when we are tempted to stay inside, isolated and protected, God gives us Spring after winter to show us how much he renews all things, even all that has gone cold.... all that has passed away.
When Fall comes again, it will be one year after Caleb came to us and left us. It will be bittersweet. The air will be cold and the sun will be warm and the earth will be bursting with beauty as it prepares for a long sleep. We will be tempted to stay there, but we cannot.

 Caleb- I  miss you as deep as the ocean and I love you to heaven and back.

My daughters blog Dear Caleb

blessings and thanks for visiting

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Forever Caleb's Grandma

Caleb Daniel was born on September 14, 2015, and we loved him.
A little less than 10 hours later, he went away.

The Friday after our precious baby left this earth we had a memorial service, our pastor asked what music my daughter and son in law would like; The numbness did not allow us to choose, so we left it up to him. 
He chose one song to sing.
It Is Well With My Soul
My daughter said to me, "That is my favorite hymn."
Jake did not know that, but God did.

We were unable to sing the words, in fact I may never be able to sing them again, but I know those words to be true.

Caleb was loved from the moment he was conceived, this is what a friend said to me. She was right. We all knew from the first ultrasound that something was wrong, that there would be challenges. It became a roller coaster of misdiagnosis, partial diagnosis, and best and hopeful prognosis.  Soon we knew Skeletal Dysplasia was our reality. We learned that this broad term referred to Dwarfism and that it entailed over 300 disorders associated with it. It became apparent Caleb was going to be on the very rare side.
 Our family was not angry, we were sad. We did not know what the future would hold but we went on... Waiting and hoping to meet him.
Looking back, every sign was there that sweet Caleb would probably not stay here long, but it didn't matter, it did not consume us.
It was well with our soul.

When he came we knew immediately things were not going to go as we had hoped.
It was a beautiful day, and the saddest day of our existence.

Caleb was surrounded by those who loved him when he finally came into the room. Knowing his time was short, I watched my daughter hold her first born child until he passed away.
My heart ached to a depth unknown.
One can cry so deeply that it feels as though every ounce of your energy has left your body.
 A tired I have never experienced set in; That same tiredness comes still, even with only a few tears.

Those tears come from a deep, deep well.

And yet, it is well with my soul.

Your heart can bleed and ache
. Your eyes can swell.
 Your body can hurt.
Your mind can question and you may want to scream and smash away every emotion.
You can know today we should be tired from a fussy baby, and we should be fighting with a stroller that won't fold up and go into the car!
You can gasp and loose your breathe when you find the bibs and bumbo you tucked away.
You can cry and cry and cry when you know there is a closed door to a beautiful nursery with an empty crib and a Pooh bear in a rocker.
You can die inside......
And it can still be well with your soul.
 Because not for a moment did God not KNOW that Caleb would touch our lives so deeply. That he would be missed so much and that He would take him home so soon.
God knew that he would be our rock.
God knew that he would provide a peace that cannot be understood.
God knew that we would mourn and tire so deeply. He knew we would be here for each other, that he had surrounded us with friends that loved us.
He knew that Caleb would be free from physical burdens and whole in his arms.

But first he let us love him. He let us feel the depth of pain he felt when his son died on the cross.
He let us know that all life is precious, that all life is fleeting, that we should love, and hug one another and be there for each other.
He let us know that life is so very hard and in that storm, in that despair, in the deepest place of loss, it can be well with our soul.

Forever Caleb's grandma

October is Infant Loss Awareness and Dwarfism Awareness month.

  1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
    It is well, it is well with my soul.
    • Refrain:
      It is well with my soul,
      It is well, it is well with my soul.
  2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    Let this blest assurance control,
    That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
    And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
  3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
    My sin, not in part but the whole,
    Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
    Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
  4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
    If Jordan above me shall roll,
    No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
    Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
  5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
    The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
    Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
    Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
  6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.

                                Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

blessings and thanks for visiting

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Flashback Guest Room

 Our guest room has been in constant transformation since we became empty nesters. It had been done in lovely white- but was soon taken over with wedding materials and crafts for my daughters wedding. Soon after that I began Junkflirt, my business of repurposing and vintage selling. Needless to say, the poor room slowly and then completely lost all identity. To say it was a hoarder's paradise would not be a stretch. At times I had to remove something just to take a step inside!

Occasionally it was filled with pretty finished things, along with mountains of junk, and projects, at times it was a sensory overload and I had to shut the door out of fright! We would load the trailer for a show, making a dent only to begin to fill it up again...and again....and again.

In a few days we will have company from Mississippi, and a couple weeks from now we will have our first grandbaby! This was time to get a handle on this room and this business. After hours and hours of finishing, sorting, chucking and complaining, the room is now a guest room again! I have to say I am both relieved and sad that my constant supply of stuff to do on hand is gone.

As a junker/collector/seller, you get to pick and keep your favorite pieces!
Like the beautiful dresser we found on Facebook for ....$20.  or this gorgeous bed frame that used to be in the Gardner Hotel in downtown Fargo, found at a garage sale, hiding in the corner with matching mirror for ......$20  I KNOW!!!

I gathered some of my favorite collections like old books

Old photos

and vintage cameras

And created a flashback in time.

I don't know how I am going to deal with my projects and overflow, we have to stuffed storage units, a full trailer ready for the next show and NO garage on site. I guess I will have to be very sure of each and every piece I gather and work at a different pace.

All the while saving my favorite pieces for myself!  I have many new things in our home to show you -so here is to trying to get this blog back up and running!

For now, we are ready for our next show in October and so we are taking a small break for our guests and new baby. Many of you have followed me for a long time, some of you have become friends, even though we have never met. I spend most of my time on Junkflirt facebook page and Instagram now, but I am also hoping to get back to blogging. For those of you that are my friends I ask for your prayers for baby. He has some health issues and he will have struggles in his life, we are praying for no immediate serious medical surgeries and would love to have you join us in prayer. You may also follow at Prayers for Baby C on facebook.
Thanks for hanging in there with me!! 

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Miss Mustard Seed
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blessings and thanks for visiting

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Buffet Media Stand

My daughter and I were driving when these lovely legs sticking up by the trash caught my eye. I mean these were some nice gams! I couldn't look away.
We quickly pulled over and saw this beautiful buffet just laying on the ground. drawers, no doors and a chippy veneer, but solid as a rock, so .... we wrestled her into my daughter's little Murrano, the door wouldn't even close but we drove home with the prize hanging out the back end!

gorgeous just the way she was!
And what a prize!!

We first tackled the veneer, 
I am thankful my husband has more upper arm strength than I will ever have because as a two man team we worked about an hour scraping off the warped veneer. I held the heat gun as he scraped and pulled. He worked up quite a sweat!

I decided since this piece was for me, to leave the top as is, I lightly sanded but did not fill in worm holes or imperfections, I just used Minwax stain over the top and a couple coats of polycrylic on the top and painted with some white laytex on the bottom. We did use 1/4 " board to even out the drawer areas, cut to size and stapled in. After some distressing it was the perfect piece,  Really, in the trash?

The next day we thought, let's drive by that trash again, just to see if they threw out the drawers and no, they didn't but they did add these. Can you say head first into the dump, both my husband and I were like kids in a candy store! 

The piece in my living room.

Excuse the dog butt, but see that coffee table?

Tossed because of broken glass, which I for one am not a fan of anyway, 1/4" slat boards turned it into another fabulous curbside save!

See more curbside rescues by clicking the tab at the top of the page!

What's It Wednesday
What We Accomplished Wednesday
Wow us Wednesdays
Open House Wednesdays
Adorned From Above
Cottage Style Party
Bissful Whites Wednesday
Share your Style

Time Travel Thursdays
Share Your Cup Thursdays
Vintage Thingy Thursday
Home and Garden Thursday
Home Sweet Home
Treasure Hunt Thursday

Vintage Inspiration Friday
Miss Mustard Seed
Show and Tell Friday
Feathered Nest Friday
Home Sweet Home

Funky Junk

Nifty Thrifty Sundays
Sunday Showcase

blessings and thanks for visiting


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